Preface

色不異空，空不異色。色即是空，空即是色。受想行識，亦復如是

Form is emptiness, emptiness is form. Emptiness is not separate form, form is not separate from emptiness. Whatever is form is emptiness, whatever is emptiness is form. The same holds for sensation and perception, memory and consciousness.

— Heart Sūtra

I suspect my fetish journey began as it does for many others in this community: with a chance encounter and the strange spark of arousal that followed. In my case, the catalyst was an ordinary strip of rubber from a blown-out bicycle tire that my grandfather had stashed among his tools and spares for woodwork and home crafts. The young, innocent me was mesmerized by its touch against my skin. I vividly remember longing to be a creature completely encased in thick rubber from head to toe – anonymous and empowered like a superhero, or even more enticingly, like a supervillain.

By my teenage years, of course, eroticism had seeped into these imaginings. Websites like RubberZone and Serious Male Bondage catapulted my fetish education to new heights. I found I could melt into the moment and reach ecstatic heights just by being in a room full of gear. At the same time, my mindset was evolving – where I once felt reluctance, embarrassment, even shame, I now felt curiosity, adventure, and a ravenous drive to explore.

As I gained experience, I realized I was no longer that horny, gear-starved teenager who craved nothing more than to be dominated. Now that I’m closer in age to the dominants I once fantasized about, I often find myself naturally stepping into more commanding roles. One thing, however, has remained constant – and indeed grown clearer: for me, the headspace and mental journey of fetish have always mattered more than any physical presence or sensation.

This shift in perspective brought a host of questions to light. If everyone is fully rubberized in hoods and gas masks, why do appearances still matter when we meet? If scenes in the playroom are fundamentally different from our daily social roles, what triggers the switch between these personas? Are we principally aroused by the people beneath the gear, or by the gear itself? Do we treat fetish items as extensions of our bodies, mere accessories, or imaginary symbiotes that engulf us entirely? And if we rely on substances to heighten a scene, are we still experiencing our genuine selves?

Each of these puzzles fueled my desire to explore and document this fetish headspace more deeply. I set out to write erotica that would portray “perfect” rubber sessions – scenarios where I could suspend practical limits and orchestrate every detail of the experience. In crafting these stories, I constantly asked myself how I wanted each moment to feel, believing that I could only attain what I could first clearly articulate.

I also sought to analyze the fluid mental states one undergoes in such intense scenes. To do this, I began physically reenacting elements of these fantasies, all while trying to remain a clear-headed observer throughout the experience. This practice allowed me to interpret and guide each moment through the lens of the philosophical and spiritual teachings I grew up with – primarily Mahayana Buddhism.

This path of mingling fetish with spiritual insight did surprise me at first. After all, the Buddhist principles themselves praise strict precepts to a rich body of rules, including celibacy. And yet, this tradition has roots in Tantric practices from Hinduism, and an adjacent branch – Vajrayana Buddhism – openly embraces erotic energy as part of the spiritual path. In fact, Vajrayana Buddhism includes esoteric rituals that incorporate sexual fluids such as semen and menstrual blood, harnessing arousal as a means of transformation – though orgasm is often deliberately avoided. Realizing these unconventional parallels inspired me to chronicle my evolving thoughts and share them with the community. In essence, I wanted to chart a course, at least for myself, down the rabbit hole of deeper, more spiritual climaxes within the fetish realm.

I will be organizing my writing into three broad categories:

Personal reflections on those concepts through an erotic and fetish lens, examining how they relate to my mental and physical journey.

Accounts of how I’ve applied these ideas in real-life scenes, and insights on what helps elevate ecstasy for myself and others.

I may not be perfectly accurate at all times, as teachings and their interpretation can vary across different schools of thought and cultural contexts. Whenever possible, I’ll include references to other works that provide more scientific or in-depth elaboration on the concepts discussed. All in all, I intend to use this blog as a platform to share perspectives not often addressed in our community. Above all, I hope it inspires others to pursue a more profound, spiritually infused form of enjoyment beyond mere physical ecstasy.